An EPIC ROAD TRIP

Vince's best friend Ric came back to South Africa for another visit this summer winter. This time last year we exhausted Joburg, Soweto,  and the greater Gauteng province, went on multiple safaris in Kruger NP and Thornybush Game Reserve, and toured the Blyde River Canyon in Mpumalanga with him. So this year, we decided to start in Cape Town and take an EPIC ROAD TRIP  up the west coast of South Africa into Namibia to see the red sand dunes and vleis of the Namib-Naukluft Park before traversing the entire Trans Kalahari Highway through Botswana back to get back to Joburg. Just like Owen Meany's UNSPEAKABLE OUTRAGE in John Irving's A Prayer for Owen Meany, it was an EPIC ROAD TRIP with all capital letters.

Now in order to embark on an EPIC ROAD TRIP, you need three things. One, a meticulous planner. That would be moi. Second, a vetted and experienced driver and ideally a back-up driver with commensurate credentials. Redundancy. We had that in spades with Vince and Ric. Thirdly and maybe most importantly, a fully equipped and kitted out vehicle. Check out our supa dupa Toyota Land Cruiser.

So first, the planning. Once I received Ric's travel dates, I set out to plan our itinerary. (Next year by the way I will not wait for his travel dates but will instead plan first and he can fly in around my itinerary dates. I missed out on booking some wonderful lodges waiting for his travel dates because the intimate lodges fill up quickly especially at the height of the Namaqua flower season. Not his fault. Ric has a very full life back in the old US of A. Just sayin'.)

We would spend five days in Cape Town because Ric had never been there before. Five days is barely enough time but I kept our touring to the things I knew Ric would enjoy. Then our drive inland up the western coast of South Africa. We stopped in and toured the Cederberg, Namaqualand, the |Ai-|Ais/Richtersveld Transfrontier Park straddling South Africa and Namibia, crossed into Namibia and visited the Fish River Canyon before finally arriving in the Namib Desert where we would spend another five days. We then crossed another border into Botswana and traversed the entire length of the Trans Kalahari Highway crossing the South African border before finishing up our trip in Joburg. Border crossing, inoculations, gas stations, lodges and hotels, self-catering supplies and menus, restock plans, car credentials, packing lists and visa requirements all had to be researched and accounted for before setting off.

First stop, the best map store in Joburg. Maps 4 Africa (354 Jan Smuts Avenue in Craighall) has the best selection in town. We would be bringing two GPS units with us, an heir and a spare. Redundancy is key in everything that is essential on an EPIC ROAD TRIP. But the satellite maps tend to have limited data in the remote areas we would be traversing and if a road is out or impassable, we need to see the lay of the land on a larger scale.

I bought maps of Namibia and Botswana. I already had a good map of South Africa. And I bought a fabulous Southern Africa map that gives me the whole picture. Then I bought park and reserve-specific maps. One of the Cederberg region, the Flower Route of the West Coast and Namaqualand, a National Park map for the |Ai-|Ais/Richtersveld Transfrontier Park.which included the Fish River Valley and a close-up map of the Sossusvlei and Sesriem area in the Namib-Naukluft Park. I printed off a detailed map of the Trans Kalahari Highway which identified the extremely limited petrol stations, restaurants and accommodations should we break down. I mapped our proposed driving tour, booked all our stays and recorded the opening and closing times for all the border crossings.

planning on the rooftop means ...

Starting off from our apartment in Cape Town made it easy to plan our supply list and kit for the first half of our EPIC ROAD TRIP when we would be self-catering. We bought a cooler in Cape Town and Vince brought over our braai and cooking utensils from Joburg.

... sundowners with South African friends!

We stocked up on spices and condiments out of the Cape Town pantry and we brought Vince's Cape Town French Press to make our morning coffee. (He will have to get it back to Cape Town now that it made the journey with us to Joburg!) 

Our initial assault planning session happened on our roof top in Cape Town the evening before the EPIC ROAD TRIP commenced. We went through my itinerary kilometer by kilometer to make sure we had everything we needed for the five day drive north to Namibia.

Our final assault session occurred on our last night in Namibia. We mapped out the last and probably the most difficult part of the trip, the drive from Sesriem, Namibia through Windhoek across the border into Botswana traversing the entire length of the Trans Kalahari Highway across a second border into South African and finally the last leg into Johannesburg. This is where Vince's project planning skills came in handy. We mapped out a timeline with border crossing opening hours and daylight factored in and came up with a schedule. If we left at 5:00am - allowing for possible delays at the borders and snags in rush hour traffic in Windhoek - we could make the trip in one fell swoop with a minimum of night driving on unpaved roads.

Next, our ace drivers. Vince and Ric have known each other and have been best friends since high school. They have repaired and restored countless automobiles and engines in their lifetimes. They both worked one summer during college on the assembly line at the Ford plant in Claycomo, MO pumping out 28 1/2 F150 trucks per hour.

Ric has a 40 acre ranch in Missouri and probably has 10 vintage and classic cars and God-knows-what-else he is restoring and tinkering with in his multiple car garage and barn - including our 1974 Ford Bronco which he is storing for us. He is also a licensed pilot and flying instructor and regularly flies in a single engine plane, so he's got nerves of steel. And he is licensed to drive a truck. Not because he drives a truck for a living. He's retired. But because ... why not? He has been in the Marine Corps Reserves since college and regularly goes out on training exercises for the US government so his survival skills are pretty good too.

Vince is the guy you want to have with you in your cave after the revolution. He can fix, repair, restore or build just about anything. He has an encyclopedic memory and remembers everything he reads in Scientific American and Popular Mechanics, two magazines he reads for fun! Vince knows his way around every tool there is, including a welder, and his sailing experience has made him proficient in knot tying. He knows the exact right knot to use for each and every job. His knots stay tied and are easily let out. One pull of the line and bam! He has an engineer's brain and is as calm as Ludlum's Jason Bourne in a crisis situation and as my grandfather used to say, "He is strong like bull."

Together Ric and Vince have driven millions of miles across the United States, Europe, Asia and South America. They replaced a broken water pump on a cross-country trip once in a Motel 6 parking lot in Grand Junction, Colorado. Another time on a drive from Minnesota to Kansas, the transmission of their car gave out. No problem. They just used a wrench to change gears for the remaining hundreds of miles.

Ric and Vince's 40th birthdays X-USA road trip

My favorite story about Vince and Ric's road travels involves Vince's 1965 Ford Mustang. The Mustang had belonged to a colleague of Vince's who lived in California. It was in pristine condition, completely rust-free living all of its life in dry Cali as opposed to the rust belt we inhabited on the east coast. Vince had always said, "If he ever wants to sell that car, I want first dibs." Sure enough just before Vince and Ric's 40th May birthdays, Vince got the call. "I'm selling the car!" They scrapped their planned 40th birthday trip - scuba diving in Belize - and flew out to California instead. They then proceeded to drive the Mustang cross country to our garage in New Jersey where they promptly removed and reassembled the entire engine. Okay? This is what these guys do for fun!

Finally, the vehicle. We rented our 4X4 Toyota Landcruiser from KEA Campers of Southern Africa (keacampers.co.za.) This guys were pros. They had offices in Cape Town for pick up and OR Tambo in Joburg for drop off and an office in Windhoek in case we needed help on the road.

It took almost 2 hours for us to rent the car. First, the paperwork took about 45 minutes. We were inundated with all the driving rules and regulations for all the countries where we would be visiting. We went over all the insurance implications, what to do if there was a breakdown or a flat tire or worse, an accident. We signed our lives away and initialed every page. They provided us with all the paperwork we would need to show at the many border crossings indicating it was okay to take the vehicle across.

Then we were checked out on the vehicle. Every knob, every switch, every driving situation was discussed. How to go from two wheel to four wheel drive and back. The truck came with a roof rack, two spare tires, an air compressor for filling and letting the air out of tires in order to drive over the dunes in Namibia and over the rocky roads of the Richtersveld, and a refrigerator/freezer that ran on its own battery.

He described every situation that could cause a flat tire - all of which were infinitely possible on this trip. I counted 16 potential flat tires. We only had two spares. Ok, safety tip. Let's not get a flat tire. And if we do, no more than one. But if we get a flat, he showed us where all the equipment was to change it.

this is bad!

Another funny safety tip that got my attention was the strong suggestion that while driving on 4X4 trails, the driver needs to keep his thumbs high above the steering wheel. Do not wrap them around the steering wheel in a grip. If you hit a rock and the wheels jerk sharply, the steering wheel can rip your thumbs off. Hello! I was never so aware of Vince and Ric's thumbs before. I checked on them constantly, almost obsessively, especially when they were in 4X4 mode  ... but even at dinner.

Well, we left about as prepared as one could possibly be, but just in case science and technology failed, I bought some extra insurance. I hung a Namibian rosary on the rear view mirror as backup. I forgot, you really need four things to take on an EPIC ROAD TRIP. Jesus has to have your back.

PS We didn't have a single mechanical problem with the car. We never ran out of gas. Not a single flat tire! No animals were hit. And everyone still has their thumbs intact. Thank you Jesus.