Simple, South Africa and Banking, 3 words that do not go together

This post, another from my husband - guest blogger, business traveler, my personal private banker - will give you a little peek into the final frontier in Africa. No it is not the Kalahari. It is the banking "system." I guess they are so worried about bank fraud that they keep your credit and electronic funds transfer limits so niggardly low that when you need to do just about anything, you have to call up your private banker, in our case Omphe, and ask like Oliver Twist for "More please!" of your own money. 

Here is the scene. I have spent the last two days putting together some vacations for July, one to go skiing in South Africa and one for a couple of consecutive safaris in Kruger and Thornybush. All I needed was a money transfer to finalize the bookings. Vince flew in late last night from Cape Town and left this morning for Ghana via Namibia. Before he left, I asked him to do an electronic funds transfer (EFT) and pay for the bookings. He decided to bring all the info with him and do it at the airport while he waited for his flight to Windhoek. One EFT was to go to Tiffindell, the ski resort and one was to go to BushBreaks, a company that books game drives and accommodations for safaris all over Africa. Simple right? This is the email I received this afternoon from Vince.

"Just in case you run out of blog topics, here has been my journey today ... and in the interests of marital peace and quiet, kindly do not characterize in your mind any of this as the result of putting things off - I had 8 (count 'em, 8) time critical things to do this morning, none of them the result of procrastination, and they've all managed to get done, if not elegantly, at least timely... (From me, "I do not know where that came from! I really don't.")

So, I went to pay BushBreaks by credit card. But they don't take credit cards over the phone. No, they only take them by some secure CC service. So they had to send me a link. On to Tiffendell. I go to do the transfer, but our monthly transfer limit is just short of the amount needed to transfer. Credit card. No, you need to print and fill one out and scan etc.

So I write to you to get the EFT limit raised, and go back to BB. The link is in my Gmail, and I go on the site, try to pay by CC 3 times before I notice the little codicil on the bottom of the web page (which doesn't show up well on the mobile phone I'm using to do all this because by this time I'm on the shuttle bus between the gate and the airplane ... I'm flying to Accra on Air Namibia, did I mention that?) that says that the site only accepts "3d secured cards" whatever that is, and if I'm not in that program it's a simple matter to call the bank and get signed up. Simple, South Africa and Banking do not rest well in the same paragraph, let alone sentence.

So no go, and of course I can't transfer funds because of the aforementioned limit. On the plane, doors closing.

Get to Namibia. There's wifi in the airport transfer lounge! Buy a 30 minute voucher from Out of Africa, a store that mostly sells souvenirs and get online. Message from you and Omphe that the limit is raised. Go onto Standard Bank online. Pay Tiffendell whom I had set up before the plane. Getting cocky. Set up BB for payment. Groovin'. Then Standard Bank sends a one time password when you try to set up a new payee. They send it via SMS. To my cell phone. Which doesn't work in Windhoek. Stuck.

But wait, it says on the website that I can call Standard Bank for an alternative. So, over to the MTN shop in the transfer lounge. I get a prepaid SIM, put it in the phone, call Standard Bank, get a guy on the phone, go through the security checks which comprises reciting every number associated with my life, and he changes the SMS one time password to go to my Gmail instead. Groovin' again. Get through the beneficiary setup screen, go on Gmail, there's the OTP, go back to the Standard Bank screen, and the wifi voucher runs out.

So back to Out of Africa for another voucher (you're wondering so I'll say that they only come in 30 minute allotments) and then log in and go through it all again, and miracle of miracles, it works.

Living the dream :-)"

Simple, South Africa and Banking do not rest well in the same paragraph, let alone sentence. Gee I will have to remember that, as if I could forget ... Now I better lower those limits again with Omphe before someone frauds us.